Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
