I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
