I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Randomize
