Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
