i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
