Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
