i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
