She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
