I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
