I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize