stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
