woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
