I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
