Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
