Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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