he wants to bone in the snuggie
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
