On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
When are your genitals available?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
