If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
then he tried to convert me to islam
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
