We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
