The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
