Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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