His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I will pee on everything he values.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
