who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize