make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize