omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
