This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
