He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
