Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
