M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
