they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm determined to sit on that face.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
