just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
