We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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