You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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