Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
