i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
we're so committed to being not committed
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
