so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
