THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
