Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
