I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
