So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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