When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
