I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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