oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
