at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
