Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
