I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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