She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
