i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
