Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
