Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
