grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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