After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize