Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
