just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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