evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
