I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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