fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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