I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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