I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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