LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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