Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
