Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
