Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
