I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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